A Question of Empathy

I remember the first time I heard the word “Empathy” used in a work context. I thought of it as an interesting approach to dealing with people in the work place. Being a child of the self improvement generation I could see the the value of having consideration of others feelings and trying to see things from their point of view. It felt good to involve myself closer with those on my team and it made us a stronger team in general.

Then something funny happened. A sneaky form of empathetic democracy (yes the dreaded democracy in business democracy) crept into my organization. It was the kind of democracy that had decision making take into account all the members of the teams points of views and feelings on many matters. This, of course, increased the authorship roles of everyone in the organization which is a very good thing. On the other hand, the team being made up of very nice people, slowly but surely, the decision making process began to cater to making everyone feel good about the decision. Thus decision making began to be ruled by the “inflict as little pain as possible” rule. Unfortunately this winds up being leadership by the squeakiest wheel. The squeakiest wheels do not make good leaders.

I made many mistakes subscribing to this format for years. I have sinced learned a valuable lesson based on this concept:

Leaders must have a high threshold for other people’s pain.

Not every decision should or needs to be pain free. In fact, leaders exist because there is no such thing as pain free decision making. The nature of leadership is to take people where they haven’t been. Going to where you haven’t been is uncomfortable and painful to some degree by nature.

Powerful leaders must make decisions based on their decision making process what ever it may be. With high tolerance to the pain of those she leads. At the end of the day this is the ability followers want in their leader. A strength and ability to take the bull by the horns. This inspires confidence in the followers who will then deal with their own pain and do what it takes to keep up with the leader.

Your thoughts?

Tom

2 Responses to “A Question of Empathy”

1. andrea says:

   May 22, 2009 at 10:12 am

   I think people’s pain threshold relates closely to the result they are pursuing. The leader’s role is to keep the team’s eyes on the prize. To remind them what they are fighting for when things get uncomfortable. I know some leaders who get so far out front, they lose touch with their team. You are not a leader if no one is following.
2. How to Make Thousands of Dollars Posting Links on Google says:

   June 10, 2009 at 1:18 pm

   Thanks for posting, I’ll definitely be subscribing to your blog.